…a brief glance…

You know in that scene in BIG (Tom Hanks wishing he was small and it comes true, thanks to Zoltar), where 13yr old Josh Baskins is in the 30yr old Josh Baskins body, and they were in the big board meeting, and the Dude who wasn’t very nice was explaining how a certain toy works, and Josh couldn’t quite grasp the concept and kept saying ‘I don’t get it?’ … well welcome to my world of PostGrad … as I spend hours pawing through the endless notes, textbook and journals, I still don’t get it. Zero comprende! Brain feels mushy and nothing is going in! Attention span, non existent! But enough about my higher education.

We celebrated Jes’ birthday by the Wharf at some swish restaurant. Good food and definitely good company. Definitely getting old! To which we all sheepishly realised at 10:30 when we all parted ways to make our way to our respective homes. Chris, I loved the insight to Beauty Care for Guys. Ramir, do tell if it works for you!

Saturday was one of my old friend’s baby shower Kaye, who goes years ad years back. We put a whole new meaning to the word letters. I have not only the box of letters to prove it, but the books too! (at some stage we moved on from stationary to notebooks) FUN! They’re hillarious to read!

That night we also celebrated Ate Lei’s 40th birthday at Enzo’s. It was a nice evening with the family. Though in all honesty, I think we all felt a tinge of sadness. It was like there was a distinct significant element missing from the fold, and we all felt it. It’s the first birthday we have had to celebrated without my Mom (in this country), and seeing as my Mom more often than not made a point to spoil us on our birthdays, she was missed. My Mom was well known for her quiet exterior at family gatherings, sitting in the background, observing, trying to keep awake (as she would be just off work or ready to work), making comments, etc. It’s funny what you miss. My Mom wasn’t one who showed her affection physically, if she did, it was rarely, but we knew she loved us, to a fault almost. My Mom showered her love by showering us with gifts, her cooking, her undeniable presence, etc.

Admittedly, I am not looking forward to my birthday this year. For as long as I can remember, if my Mom was home on the night before my birthday (she works nights), she would always come into my bed and wish me a Happy Birthday, as she did last year, on my first birthday back from being away for two years. She lay on my bed and slept there next to me for a couple of hours before heading back to her own bed, or the couch which she used more often than her own bed. If she wasn’t home, she’d call right on midnight, a tradition that never ceased even in my absence.

On Friday we bury her, once and for all she will finally be laid to rest. I’m glad, at the same time a little sad. It means letting go, and we’ve already lost so much…but I also know that it’s necessary. She can’t be at home forever. Friday will be like her funeral all over again, and G0d give us all the strength to survive yet another hard day.