Month: October 2006

For the last couple of years, I have been blogging for an audience, and it hit me that I don?t really want to do that anymore, for one, I think it has somehow restricted my ability to express myself, seeing as it?s safe to say that no one is really reading it anymore, rambles here I comes? more than usual? One ponders!

So it?s Month 4 upon my return, and though it?s great to be home. I wouldn?t be human if I didn?t say that some days are harder than some, and though there are many great days, there are dark days too, where I feel caught between two worlds. Which is what I feared from the beginning. Lori worded it so well in a an e-mail once ? she said it was like trying to live in a world that no longer belongs to you, but as much as I love being at home, it feels like I am still trying to fit and make this world mine again. some days are harder than some, and though there are many great days, there are dark days too, where I feel caught between two worlds. Which is what I feared from the beginning. Lori worded it so well in a an e-mail once ? she said it was like trying to live in a world that no longer belongs to you, but as much as I love being at home, it feels like I am still trying to fit and make this world mine again.

I don?t want to go back to London, I know that my season there is OVER?for more reasons than I can even begin to put into words, I am well aware of that, which is what makes it harder because I know jumping on a plane back to London isn?t going to fix my ?unsettled-ness?. The thing is, the ?unsettled-ness? lies in me, and me alone. Something inside of me is holding on tightly to what was there?maybe it?s because where I felt the most free. But freedom isn?t about location. It?s about choice. Something in me is choosing not to let go just yet. Learning impaired much! Mind boggles!

With only a couple of weeks left before the Phils, I have a couple of weeks to get my gear together. Organise my application for Post Grad next year, which I am really excited about. I have no misgivings on how hard it?s going to be, but I am also hoping that the scholar schedule will allow for me to still work, if even full time, if so, that work will allow me to work around my study schedule. Praying that my tax cheque from London will come through ASAP as it would make a substantial deposit into my very first, very own broom broom. I don?t care if it?s old, as long as it gets me to where I need to go.

Much to my delight, I have finally received a phone call from someone from Treasure Chest, and I have my sit in/interview on Sunday to be on the Treasure Chest team, although I have grown to love my kids for the 5pm Sunday Service, my heart is leading me down this path.

The last couple of weeks have been a little bit of a struggle, it was like a tornado had sucked me into an endless whirpool and I couldn?t quite get out?which was frustrating, but thanks for the prayers Ashe and Ann?my accountability partners.

Val has finally gotten her blades, and we?re looking forward to heading out to the Mount Annan Botanical Garden to roller blade?it?s been awhile for me so that experience should be interesting.

This weekend was pretty jam packed. Friday I dropped by Kuya Ferd and Ate Rose? place for a little while just to briefly see the girls and Josh, my extremely tall 16 year old nephew, who has managed to make me feel incredibly short. Got to play with Ashlee Rose and Maddie for an hour. I love hanging out with them, if even briefly. It means Maddie doesn?t cry when I pick her up =) I love my nieces and nephew, though I am not well versed in Josh?s language, which consists of PS2?s and Warcraft, I love that kid to bits. I love that he has grown into a young man?smart, and good looking! Says that somewhat UN-biased Aunt.

Sunday was spent with the rest of my cousins, which is always fun. I realised how much I love hanging out with my cousins. They?re all funny and hilarious in their own way, and we have developed IN jokes that only we understand, that thankfully flies pass our Parental?s head. It wasn?t till I returned to Sydney from being away that I have felt like I belong. It?s nice to finally feel like I do.

A lot has changed since my return, and some, not so much?all of which are proving to be character building?when I choose it to be =) Otherwise their just annoying obstacles I keep encountering?lessons will keep presenting itself till lesson is learned?duh!

You know what, before I even asked, God whispered the above things in my heart. I think God wants you to go to Him. You mentioned that you missed having someone a few steps ahead of you – well that’s God spot. He’s there. Maybe He surrounded you with so many people in London to help you grow but now that you’ve grown, perhaps its time to walk on your own, with less support. Just like when a baby starts walking, they use furniture to support them but after awhile they must walk across the room, without furniture to lean on. It might be difficult at first but after a few stumbles, you get your rhythm and you get stronger.

I finally received my Post Grad Applications! Yay! I have a couple of weeks to have it all filled in and sent off before I head off to the Phils for a couple of weeks, which I am looking forward to more and more as time passes, maybe cause I want a HOLIDAY from work! Hehe! Though busy at work to a point of hysteria, I am enjoying it. My environment certainly helps! Such a refreshing change! I am hoping that I can work and do Uni at the same time next year, if even Part Time.

All is well. Last weekend was a long weekend, which I was happy to spend a day of it at the beach with my girlfriends. The night before Mer and I engaged in a GG marathon. Which was oddly satisfying. I am looking forward to going back to Uni, so I ask for prayers that all will go smoothly re: applications and enrolments.

Cubby House has been awesome! I am loving it! The kids are sooo cute, and I find myself getting cluckier and cluckier as time passes. May not be a good thing! However as I sat there this weekend, in a certain FUNK all week, I did question whether or not I was serving in the right place, as much as I love it, I don?t know, I was just feeling restless. Perhaps it?s the age gap between me and the rest of my Team Mates. Can you say ?Gramma party of one? ??? My Team Mates are all still in High School and though they?re all amazing, I?m finding it hard to relate. But, it?s for the Kingdom, and for the kids so it?s all good. I am still awaiting a call from the lady that runs Treasure Chest, it?s been chaotic because of Kids Fest this week. How cool is this?more than 3000 were at the Kids Conference. That?s like the same amount of people at Colour! Watch out for the new DVD?it ROCKS. Marty Sampson sang with one of the little girls Chloe, and it?s soooo cute! So precious! I am starting to get my own ?regulars??

Segue: In my rambles about the kids, I remembered my other batch of kids?just had a peek at Zoe?s photos Amelia, she and Lara have grown so much! Thanks for the link! I miss the girls, please give them a big hug for me!

Tonight I have my Connect at QVB, as always! FUN FUN! Meeting up with Marie and Chrissy, my fave pair of twins for a coffee before meeting up with the rest of the crew.

Congratulations to C for getting his ticket out of HC! Yippee!!! You?re free!

Welcome back to the UK Ashe!

My friends had seen a snippet of the Europe Conference and they were raving about how awesome you guys looked, full of energy and passion, just as I had described. Sadly, and perhaps rather fortunately, I never go to see it as they didn?t show it at the service I went to. Probably a blessing in disguise, for I can?t guarantee that no tears would have been shed, as it?s already a little struggle to watch the opening of the service.

It was my Ma?s birthday yesterday so we were at the Family Restaurant that we have frequented to an un-countable figure. Funny enough, my 18th Birthday party was catered by the very same restaurant?oh my that was almost ten years ago!

The course I am applying for is Master or Special Education, which one of the components is that Early Intervention Cert that I wanted to do. The Master pretty much covers a wide range, giving me loads of options once it?s finished. Awaiting a phone call from one of the advisors about doing a Dip Ed as well.

With Uni starting just around the corner, it would be more than advisable to get my own wheels, so the fruits of my tax from London, once the cheque has been received, will be paying a good portion of a second hand broom broom for me. Fingers crossed and all that! So need my own wheels already!

Random thought: We have a new way for the Kids and Leaders to sign in at Kids Church and it?s via fingerprint. You touch the little fingerprint thing and your details come up. For Kids their fingerprint gets attached to their parents and vice versa, and if certain leaders care for leaders kids they?re fingerprint is also attached to the child. It?s soooo cool! Saves paperwork and a queue! Sad that I get so excited at technology!

Anyways, that?s it for the update. One day, my entries will become a little more exciting, till then, thanks for reading. Be blessed!